


Some Sunny Day

by ImpalaBoys_67



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-24 23:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3788323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpalaBoys_67/pseuds/ImpalaBoys_67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The sound of shattering glass brings Steve out of his reverie.<br/>'It wasn't your fault,'Steve says quietly, 'It isn't your fault, okay?' "</p><p>Bucky is coming apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Sunny Day

**Author's Note:**

> I love sad!Bucky. I have a problem.
> 
> Title taken from "We'll Meet Again" by Vera Lynn.

_"Shit!"_

The sound of shattering glass brings Steve out of his reverie. It's a Sunday morning and rain is pouring down relentlessly outside his window. Up until this moment, it had been quiet. The night before had been a peaceful one, all things considered. Neither him nor Bucky had been plagued by too serious a night terror and they had managed to get almost a full night of sleep wrapped safely in each other's arms. It was a welcomed gift, and he was thankful for it, hoping it would lead to a calm, relaxing day, for Bucky's sake. Though it seemed like their luck had worn off.

Sighing, Steve set his pencil down on his desk, careful not to smudge the drawing he'd been working on. His heart pounding, he walked to the kitchen, struggling to keep a calm expression on his face.

Bucky is standing in front of an open cabinet, wearing nothing but a pair of Steve's pajama pants, staring down at the floor in front of him, which is peppered with the shattered remains of a glass dish. The tiniest particles are little more than sand, powdered shards on top of his bare feet and Steve's heart jumps to his throat when he sees the blood, though the wounds are rapidly closing. Bucky's chest is heaving, his left arm frozen in mid-air, held in position as if it was clutching something. However, the something was now in pieces on the floor.

"Buck?" Steve asked cautiously, approaching with slow, deliberate steps. He couldn't see Bucky's face. If Bucky was having a flashback or panic attack, he couldn't risk scaring him. It had happened too many times before, usually resulting in a bloody lip or nose and far too many tears.

Bucky took a shuddering breath, daring to turn his head slightly in Steve's direction. Seeing the blotchy redness and tears on his cheeks, Steve sighed softly, and closed the distance between them, hesitating to place his hand on Bucky's right shoulder.

"Okay?" He asked softly, not wanting to touch Bucky without permission.

A tiny, curt nod is the only response he receives, and he rests his hand gently on the quivering shoulder. Bucky only jumps slightly, which is a marked improvement from other times he'd tried to comfort him.

"Bucky? What happened?"

No response.

Steve sees the muscles in his back tense for a moment, before he takes another shaky breath.

"Bucky---"

"What do you mean what happened? The plate fucking broke, Steve!"

His voice, full of anxiety, trembles as he speaks, despite the venom in its tone. The hostility is a glancing blow; Steve knows that it's a defense mechanism, knows immediately that something more serious is wrong, that he's scared.

After a pause, Steve responds, "Bucky, you know what I meant."

Bucky wrenches his shoulder out of Steve's grip, breathing heavily.

"This fucking _thing_ is what happened," he spits, moving his metal arm carelessly, as if he could just throw it from his body, "It froze, Steve. It just seized up and I couldn't move it and I couldn't--I couldn't breathe. I don't even fucking know why. I just--I just--I dropped your plate. I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean to and I know it's not a big deal but it feels like a big deal and I still can't see straight. I'm a fucking mess, Steve, I'm a mess and you're an angel and I'm a monster. I can't even control my _own arm_. I'm so fucking _weak_ \--" his voice cracks and tears begin to stream down his face again as he gasps for air.

"Bucky...you're anything but weak...after what you went through....You're getting better. Every day. You're the strongest person I know. Tony's almost done with the prototype, remember? You won't have to look at it for much longer, okay?" Tears are threatening to spill from his own eyes, but he blinks vigorously to stop them. He has to try and calm Bucky down, before he freaks himself out even more.

Bucky turns his head away again, refusing to look Steve in the eye, his body shaking harder as he continues to cry in great shuddering gasps.

"Hey...." Steve steps a little closer to him, not caring to avoid the glass. "Let me get you away from here, okay? The glass is cutting your feet."

Bucky just nods his head again, eyes cloudy, looking to his bloody feet."I didn't even...couldn't tell...." He murmurs, barely audible.

Steve just leads him to the couch, holding his hand delicately. "Shhhh, I know. It's okay."

They sit down together, Bucky facing forward, still crying and seeming like he isn't sure what to do. Steve still holding his hand, a little tighter now, rubbing soft circles on Bucky's knuckles with his thumb.

"It wasn't your fault," Steve says quietly, "It isn't your fault, okay?"

Bucky blinks more tears out of his eyes. "'Feels like it..." He chokes out in a whisper. "Feels like shit, actually." He continues, barking out a bitter laugh.

Steve presses his lips together, gently reaching his hand up to tilt Bucky's face towards his. "I know...how you feel." He says softly, eyes understanding.

Bucky's lip trembles again and he nods, turning his body and leaning his bare chest against Steve, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face into Steve's shirt.

"'M sorry," he says again, his voice muffled.

"Don't be," Steve responds, running a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp.

"I am though. Sorry 'm such a mess..."

"Hey." Steve moves his hand from Bucky's hair to his shoulder.

Bucky lifts his head slowly, "Hmm?"

"You're getting through it. We're getting through it. Together. We're together, and I'm never letting you go again. You can't get rid of me." He smirks for a moment, before letting it fade into a genuine smile.

"Wouldn't dream of letting you go, Stevie..." Bucky's eyes are glassy and far away again. Steve leans in slowly to press a gentle kiss to Bucky's forehead, pulling away and looking into his eyes.

"I love you," he says honestly.

Bucky's eyes light up and he closes them, a few tears falling before he breaks into a small watery smile.

"I love you, too. Always have."

Steve lifts a hand to his face, stroking his cheek gently, and wiping the drying tears away, before pressing a careful kiss to his lips.

"Can we go lay down?" Bucky murmurs, "'m tired... I know we need to do something about the glass--"

Steve interrupts, glancing for a second down to Bucky's feet, at the long-healed cuts.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get it later, okay?"

Bucky nods again, his red-rimmed eyes bloodshot and filled with exhaustion. "Come on, let's go." Steve grabs his hand and they walk back to the bedroom. Bucky climbs onto the bed, and Steve takes a minute to cover him with two blankets--they always kept at least three blankets on their bed at all times-- before climbing in himself. Before Steve can ask if it's okay, Bucky has already wrapped himself around Steve, his arms loosely draped over Steve's waist and his head resting on his chest.

"What do you think people would say if they knew I used Captain America as my personal body pillow?" He asked, eyes closed.

"I don't think I care what they'd say," Steve answered, leaning down to kiss the crown of Bucky's head.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post on AO3, and my first time writing Stucky. Please leave any constructive criticism, advice, comments, or Prompts, I'd love to read them.


End file.
